Morning Friend,
Today is a milestone of sorts for the old Monday Muser....my 30th "episode" !
The words of encouragement AND the "constructive criticism" have been welcomed equally and warmly. ( Keep them coming folks ! )
A dental appointment early this morning has left me feeling somewhat "creatively challenged", so I think I'll share some feedback along with the responses, to some of the comments and "constructive" criticism I've received in the past 7 months .
- Dear Ab,
Where do the ideas and inspiration for the musings come from?
signed, LEFT BRAIN
Dear LEFT BRAIN,
I come by the modicum of writing skill and the "passion for prose" I possess honestly, having obtained a Creative Communications diploma from R.R.C.C. in 1981. I always knew I COULD write but was never consistently sober enough to make a living out of it. ( I was offered a full time reporters job at the Winnipeg Sun before I had even graduated College, but turned it down knowing full well that between the rigors of a newsroom and those of a heavy drinker, there was room for only ONE set of rigors....I would have been sacked in no time !) Monday Musings is simply an attempt to "get my feet wet" again in a small, semi-structured "deadline oriented" literary fashion. Nothing is "pre-written" or even thought about. I set my alarm for 6:00 a.m. and whatever comes to mind as I float in bed listening to the coffee maker do its' thing on Monday morning, becomes the THEME....and away I go for 5-6 hours till she's done and spell-checked and with a mighty sigh I push "SEND" and go back to bed. As far as "inspiration" and "ideas"....I have a MILLION reasons to love life again and each one of them is a story idea....that I have the strength, clarity and peace of mind to be able write them is inspiring in itself.
- Dear Ab,
Besides the OBVIOUS inference, what is the origin of the pseudonym "Abraham Stainer"?
signed, WHATSINANAME
Dear WHATSINANAME,
I was actually staining my brother's fence all day, one summer day early in my sobriety and as I am wont to do during such endeavors, I ended up as "Sienna Brown" as the fence itself. Covered in stain from head to toe and chit-chatting with Marshall and sister-in-law Gwen it was remarked that I'm an "Stained Abstainer" and an "Abstaining Stainer", and behold....ABRAHAM ( "Ab" ) STAINER was wrought upon the literary and home-decorating world.
- Dear Ab,
You look fairly "shredded" in recent pictures, what's your secret and why aren't you married off?
signed, LETTUCE-HEAD
Dear LETTUCE HEAD,
While I do cycle every day to work, and spend my coffee break doing a few sets in the gym, the KEY to my physical conditioning lies in what I've discovered through doing basic PUSHUPS and SITUPS at home EVERY single day.
Such basic exercise requires NO gym membership or fancy equipment; just the ability to CONTROL the weight and mass of your OWN BODY, in measured repetitions of activity.
Being able to control and maximize myself, and FEELING strong physically is the perfect compliment to how I feel mentally and spiritually; like a Warrior !
As to the second part of your question, I have been in several "near-marital" relationships which were derailed unquestionably, and sadly-so by my drinking. ( I would have made a TERRIBLE "husband" !) You might think I'd be "good to go" now, but the process of learning to live without alcohol also requires learning to "LIVE" with a renewed sense of honesty and a commitment to address my own plethora of character defects. Many like myself have found meeting and interacting with members of the opposite sex difficult because all of our "instincts" and "strategies" were honed and refined in our teens with "Liquid Courage" and "B.S.". Nevertheless, before I even consider "setting up house" with someone, I have a ways to go in getting my OWN, in order. Did I mention by the way how great exercise is for tension relief!?
- Dear Ab,
In some of your blog pictures you dress like Klem Kadiddlehopper and in others like you just finished a G.Q. shoot...why the disparity?
signed, GIORGIO
Dear GIORGIO,
I have the odd, "slightly threadbare", favorite old item of clothing that I'm reluctant to part with like anyone else, although there are one or two which even the moths won't waste their time with anymore, but I DO benefit greatly from having the same body size and type as my "lanky" but athletically sinewy and horse-shouldered brother-in-law Dr. Marv Goossen, who's fashion-conscious wife - sister Cheryl - keeps HIM in the latest fashions and ME in the "next-to-latest" hand me downs. Therein, lies the rub...and the reason why I can now be both "dressed up" AND "taken out".
- Dear Ab,
How do you deal with the CRAVING?
signed, HAIR O' THE DOG
Dear HAIR O' THE DOG,
If you mean Reese's Pieces, I don't....I keep a good few pounds of them around at all times. But as to alcohol, I don't have to "deal" with cravings because I've never once been even the remotest bit inclined to have, sip, sneak, buy or steal a drink from day ONE. When I speak of "God" and "Miracles" as I often do, the very fact that my OBSESSION went away COMPLETELY - along with a whole HOST of life-sapping grief, sickness and fear - is my own personal encounter with the saving Grace of God and all the "proof" I need that miracles DO happen. My grateful heart aches with prayers for the many alcoholics who still suffer through a daily battle with cravings, setbacks and "slips".
- Dear Ab,
I think I want your parents to adopt me?
signed, O. ANNIE
Dear O. ANNIE,
I can understand full well how anyone would want to experience the absolutely amazing love, patience, faith and courage of my Mom and Dad who literally saved my life and who are beacons of light and God's mercy upon me. While they are both officially "retired" from the workplace, the work of raising their own seven children, as Mom says, "...never ends.", so unfortunately they cannot at this time take on any new clients.
- Dear Ab,
Why do you use such big werds sumtimes?
signed, EGGBERT
Dear EGGBERT,
I like to throw at least one "$5 word" into each "two-bit" Musing as an "added value" feature, however some trains of thought just simply call for less COLLOQUIAL sentiments ? ( I can see how it might be frustrating though...for those without access to a dictionary, Eggbert !? )
- Dear Ab,
I "think" I might have a drinking problem and you might have the answer?
signed, RON BACARDI
Dear RON,
The fact that you are even thinking about it is a good sign, unless you're drunk while you're doing all the thinking. It's EASY to swear off booze "tomorrow" when you're half cut and the fridge is full, of beer, but when your mind ( and throat) are clear and dry, and it's 5:00 on a Friday after a LONG week and the wolves in your head are howling the Call of the Wild, the very idea of quitting drinking is right up there at the top of your Priority List, tied for first with putting sharp sticks in your eyes !
I have NO answers for you Ron. I only know what works for ME. Without going into EVERY reason I KNEW I had a problem, I'll simply say that when the CONSEQUENCES of drinking outweigh the full and free ENJOYMENT of life, then you have a problem. And the answers to that problem can be readily found at an A.A. meeting. You might not like the answers you get or even the personalities of the people there ( which is why it's nice that there are so many groups in major centers to choose from), but the answers will hold the TRUTH you seek, based on life experiences of Honest and Open-minded people who are more than Willing to share in a journey of hope, recovery and redemption. Never mind the "God Thing" that many people use as an excuse not to go because it "conflicts with their beliefs". To them I say, "you're life is a cesspool WITHOUT God...how much "worse" can it get WITH Him?!!! The only other piece of advice I ever care to give besides "go to a meeting" is ...SOBRIETY EQUALS FREEDOM.
- Dear Ab,
You're a brilliant writer and you're wonderful, but you need to stop smoking!
signed CONCERNED
Dear CONCERNED,
Yes Mother, thank you.
Love tImMy :/