Morning Friend,I've never been a real "Math" kind of guy..."English"; ( or the butchering of same), has always been more my forte.I was told early on in sobriety by more than one A.A. member that it was NOT a good idea to COUNT the days, as in, " I haven't had a drink in 11 days....that's about as long as my worst bender!"....or "I haven't had a drink in 3 days....that's how long it's taken me to recover from my last 11 day spree!"....or "I've just beaten by old record of 11 days...time to celebrate with a 3 day tilt!".I believe the reasoning behind such a suggestion is that it takes one's focus AWAY from the all-important TODAY; which I can say from my experience in "early" sobriety, was about the only thing my "shell-shocked" brain and shattered countenance had the ability to focus ON.And that makes perfect sense really.What good are "a thousand wonderful yesterdays" to a man strapping himself aboard a Hell-bound hand-basket TODAY?When the sun sets on TODAY, will I have frittered it away, selfishly patting myself on the back for yesterday's "glory"?Who besides war heroes and crazy people get a "free pass" TODAY to do whatever they want due to "past considerations" ?The truth of the matter is that a recovering drunk with a thousand sober yesterdays having a drink TODAY, is nothing more than a drunk, ( again), and those thousand days won't even get him a "free one".I get it.I also get that TODAY, spent bettering the world and myself, is preferable to a day of self-aggrandizement.Lord knows there's no shortage of work to be done in both cases, but the area of "self improvement" is probably the better starting point since I'm about the only one qualified ( and interested), in correcting my own annoying habits, personality flaws, and all round garden variety character defects.When you think about it, one more "better PERSON" makes a "better WORLD" , so the "global ramifications" of human activity are not ALL environmental. ( I suppose you could say I'm partly "responsible" for GLOBAL SOBERING !? )Alas my friend as you might have suspected from Yours Truly.... the "helpless convention flaunter" that I am. I do...COUNT my days.I count the days, each like a precious gift; each more wondrous and beautiful, and less daunting and uncertain than the ones before it.You'll note I've said it was "suggested" that I don't, and I can see how some poor soul who is constantly "slipping" and "re-starting" and "relapsing" and "re-counting" and losing count and over-counting and not counting a sip of wine in the count, and count on the count....end up getting COUNTED OUT!But for me, counting WORKS....and that's really the bottom line.For a "recovering incorrigible liar" like myself, who on any given day - back in "the day" - could tell ten different people, ten different stories about how much I had or hadn't had to drink, ( and they'd ALL be B.S.!), I carry around the knowledge of EXACTLY the number of days I've been sober like the "priceless treasure" that the TRUTH is.For a "recovering coward" like myself, who wallowed in drunken self-pity and fear for over 9,000 days, I count each day as another in a series of humble but hard-fought VICTORIES.For a "recovering fool" like myself, who squandered God-given talents and opportunities until my very dignity was but a crumbling shell, I can now look eye-to-eye with anyone and rattle off the count with deep gratitude, dead reckoning, and immense PRIDE.For a "recovering alcoholic", who at one time couldn't manage ONE sober day, I think it's worth mentioning that today the count is at 1,400.Not an OVERLY IMPRESSIVE statistic by any standards, and I only really mention it because it's a nice "round" number and it happens to coincide with 46 MONTHS which happened to coincide with "Musing Monday".If you do nothing but sit back and tick off your "sober" days on the calendar, you might end up improving your math skills, but little about your heart and soul will change for the better.It's been said that if you sober up a drunken horse-thief, you're still left with a thief. ( and probably not your horse !? )So hand in hand with each day of sobriety has been, and MUST be a conscientious and ongoing effort at "Tim-improvement".Each numbered day is a granite boulder of the foundation upon which I construct my TODAYS.For ME, the size of each new day's construction "project" is directly proportional to the foundation I've laid, and in 1,400 days I've gone from bird-houses to CASTLES!Never forgetting of course the ONE fundamental rule of the "global" job site.........NO "inconvenient FIFTHS" !love tImMy:/
Laugh as much as you breathe
Love as long as you live ( adding up)
