Morning Friend,It all started innocently enough, with a note, stealthily passed via a third party to my desk in grade four.My ten-year-old imagination quickly shifted into hyper-speed as I stared at the oddly feminine flair in the writing of my name.Was this a coded message from Mata Hari?....my secret orders from High Command? The beginnings of a Hardy Boy Mystery Adventure?....Could Frank and Joe be in peril at this very moment...their fate spelled out in this note written in what could well be the flowery scrawl of Nancy Drew?With suddenly trembling sweaty hands, a roar in my head and a "junkie's paranoia" that the teacher was going to pounce on me at any moment, I carefully opened the note like a fragile ancient parchment that might turn to dust at any moment.Little did I realize, that the little piece of paper unfolding in my hand might just as well have been written by Franklin W. Dixon himself, because it was the prologue to a "Hardy Boy Adventure" that has lasted a lifetime.The note asked, "Do you like Mandy?" - and had three boxes to choose from; "YES, NO, or MAYBE?"Now a ten-year-old boy "likes" about a gazillion things, and in naming them he'd likely run through a whole slew of nasty, slimy, grody, thunderous, flashy, explosive, cool and gnarly things before he got near mentioning a GIRL!? ( although you just might have found Ellie-Mae Clampett in the top 100?)To be sure, Mandy was no "Ellie-Mae" nor were there ANY buxom, "critter loving" tomboys to be found amongst the female students in a grade 4 classroom. ( there was quite a tall German girl who's intellectual development was right in step with her rather early physical development, thus rendering her more obnoxious than likeable )But Mandy was cute and funny and friendly, and even though I was new to the note-passing subterfuge of adolescent courtship and youthful infatuation, the obvious bottom line here was that she liked ME.That note suddenly represented the end of my innocence.The safe circle of "likes" in my life; my family, friends, hobbies and heroes, had been invaded by one of nature's most powerful entities...puppy love.I had not invited it yet it landed on my desk like a Federal Audit Notice...."Welcome to the World of LOVE"."Please fill out the following form carefully and truthfully.""You will be required from this point on, to make any and all intentions with regard to matters of the heart i.e.: "Love"... clear, concise and legible.""This is a binding contract in which your actions will be required to mirror your words.""The love in this agreement is "conditional" upon regularly reviewed performance."That note my friend, was the FIRST time I became aware of one of the great necessities in all "grown up" human interaction: making one's self, and one's intentions, clear.Surely I had been "showing off" on the playground and was interested in attracting the attention of someone, but who it was, was not CLEARLY known?Answering the note would clarify my position and alleviate the need for so many break-neck acrobatics or class-disrupting "Tim-foolery".It would give young Mandy the courtesy and consideration of knowing "where she stands".Whether you're a pre-teen or a Pensioner, it is essential to people who love you to know where they stand - to get a note back that says "Yes, No or Maybe".The "note" itself can be non-specific; an unspoken wish for your well-being, an offer of help, the hand of peace, a guiding light awaiting nothing from you but a sense of your willingness.You can say "Yes" in a hundred different ways without saying the word, just as there are hundreds of ways of showing No.Body language, tone, demeanor, affect, color, quality, efficacy, are some of the myriad nuances of ACTION; your response to any and all notes that life slips onto your desk.For many of my adult years the object of my affection received confirmation of my ardor on a daily basis.From the devotion, commitment, resources, time, energy, passion, earnestness, fire, willingness and zeal that I spent on it, it was painfully obvious to all that I was in LOVE with booze. ( to the exclusion of all else)I thought of my "sweetheart" first thing in morning, all day, and fondly before each night's passout.We're "broken up" now ( thanks to A.A. , the Good Lord, and the fact both our parents were against a "mixed" relationship) which has left me with the delightful dilemma of where to channel all of that unused love blessedly yet in my heart.There is so much to love about life now that one of the more difficult tasks has been where to start?As singularly as I was in love with booze, my passions today are plentiful on the grownup playground, where "knowing where you stand" is just as monumentally important as it was in grade 4.I won't throw a snowball at you or hang upside down on the monkey bars, but if I "like" you, you'll KNOW it.Unlike Mandy who got a "Maybe".love tImMy:/Laugh as much as you breathe...Love as long as you live (Hardy-Boying)
