Morning Friend,A single bloke needs all the help he can get on the wacky 21st century dating scene.It's a jungle out there....a roiling sea....a frenzied maelstrom of uncertainty and peril.Which is why, in an effort to calm the waters, I've "taken the gloves off" as it were and gone to the locked cupboard where the heavy guns are kept.No I'm not talking mail-order brides here but something almost as sure of a thing.Not a level playing field but one not imperceptibly tipped in MY favor.I'm talking about renowned angler and ladies man Babe Winkelman's little known ( and surprisingly unpublished) guide to success for single gents: "FISHING FOR A DATE?....from Skunked to Scoring in 10 easy steps!"As I began reading the dusty manuscript I was immediately stricken by one of those forehead slapping, "D-oh!...Why didn't I think of this before!?" moments.He's taken several widely known elements of successful angling and applied them to the singles scene which for many single men is a veritable pond of loneliness.I'll of course share some of Babe's brilliance with you today with a reminder that like the sport of fishing itself, you don't actually have to know how to fish in order to appreciate it.I should also echo the sentiments of the guide's disclaimer which reminds the reader that "because LUCK is as much a factor in fishing as it is all areas of life, some days are just going to be "bad" ones, despite the very BEST of your efforts and intentions - remember, the thrill is in the chase....and at least you're not at WORK."-BAIT Unless a gal is indiscriminately ravenous, like say a carp or a shark, she won't bite on anything unsavory. As you are the bait, you must appeal to all of her senses positively in order to trigger a feeding response. Freshness is appealing to all species. Loud or ridiculously matched clothing can and will frighten away many quality hits. Chumming the water with humorous or clever conversation is never a bad idea.-PRESENTATION is the trickiest part of angling and goes to its' core....presenting the bait in the most flatteringly irresistible manner possible. Your mind should be a hooked array of sharpened wits and senses; a dazzling but not overwhelming...enticing but not overpowering LURE. Cast aside your inhibitions and troll the deepest depths undaunted by the odd, but easily overcome snag.-LOCATION Fast-moving streams of females are often seen flowing in and out of nightspots around any urban region. But again the question begs what sort of catch are you after? Plenty of piranhas and scavengers to choose from here but you might be wise to try slower waters if it's "keepers" you want. There are as many locations to choose from as their are angling challenges, but none of them are attainable if you're at home on the couch in front of the T.V. or computer cutting bait.-PATIENCE AND PERSISTENCE Forcing any issue at all with that particular hawg you've got on your finder is about as wise as yanking hard on a sunfish bite....nothing but grief all 'round. A fisherman trying too hard is about as subtle as blood in the water and likely to cause a leaving frenzy. The fishing story worth a shared lifetime will often have dozens of preambles positing and praising your patient persistence and aplomb. She will have been "...landed before she knew she was hungry!...".-TACKLE an angler with his equipment in poor repair will be fishing the River of Tears and buying fillets on the way home. If you care for your gear like it was made to last a lifetime it will do so very effectively. Fresh lines and good leaders make for excellent action in even the most treacherous of structure, and unstructure.-DEMEANOR & CHARACTER are as much keys to success in a fishing boat as they are on the Love Boat. The combination of steady hands, a keen eye and a stout heart distinguishes the pure angler from the bait cutting lunker. The strength of character gleaned from a healthy kinship with Nature and respect for all God's creation are a Master Angler's hallmarks.-ETIQUETTE It is a popular myth really that fishing trips are nothing more than bawdy drunken getaways. Those are drinking trips with some fishing. A babbling drunk will catch just as many fish as he will dates -none of either- while the Fisher Man, at one with nature is feeling the undulations of his quarry with his soul and listening, to her approaching heartbeat as he visualizes her mouth....her lips.......I'm sure if you've seen Babe Winkleman on television as I have my friend, you're probably having as hard a time as I did matching that jowly old mug of his to these powerful and insightful words, let alone his recently revealed reputation as a "chick magnet"?Are there such things as "fishing show groupies"?Nevertheless I can certainly see eye to walleye with him on several of his points.It's cast things in a different light and given me some reel insight.And if worse comes to worse I can always go fishing.Or change my name to Babe?love tImMy:/
My Love For You by Timothy Gerald Franklin Lawrence
is bigger
than a shoe
The End
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Look after yourself...without health
you are of no use to anyone.
If I owned this company,
would I hire someone like me?
THREE Angels!
Angela, Ash & Janelle
Ab's ( REALLY GOOD) Joke of the WEEK!
A great example of Flawless Male logic —
This is a conversation between a husband and his wife. Please note that she asks five or six questions which he answered quite simply; but, then she is speechless after answering only one question.
Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes.
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about three.
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!).
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose.
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, that would be approximately $5400, correct?
Man: Sounds Correct.
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, over the past 20 years puts your spending at about $108,000, correct?
Man: Again, sounds about right.
Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane?
Man: Could be true. Do you drink beer?
Woman: No.
Man: Where is your airplane?
for Kenneth Mayo
Hope AND SWIM !
When I fall into an ocean, I know with certainty
That I am wet and startled will at once be plain to me
But will I sink or will I swim...to the depths or to the shore?
Perhaps a log will come drifting by, or a boat out on a tour?
I could hope as I was sinking, but I’d still drop to the floor
And hoping would I be, for logs and tour boats evermore
So I think I’ll set my sights on land and give my legs a kick
And stroke though I am weary, my decision will I stick
While Hope sustains the helpless whose outlook is often dim
Hope also fuels the Faithful, giving Strength to those who swim
So even if I falter against this fearsome tide of health
The shores of my fulfillment rise beneath me in my stealth
I’m hopeful for the strength and the courage not to give in
I thank the Lord for Faith and my resolve to hope AND swim!
My prayers and God’s Blessings be with you my friend!
Timothy Lawrence
Abraham Stainer Esq.
a.k.a. "Ab"
Tinker-Timmy & Friends
Jan'l. Angeela, Ash and Ab
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Limiting Out on Love #49
Life Stories
The end of life…is not!
It is the end of a Chapter in a Grand, Spiritual, Novel !
These chapters called “life”, are enriching, engrossing
narratives of one’s earthly adventures.
In them, are an abundance of supporting characters and
supplementary plot elements, often curiously overlapping
and mysteriously intertwining.
Their length and depth varies from person to person;
from protagonist to protagonist.
Some people who have “died” in chapters ended many years
ago, are still quite “alive” today!
Their SPIRIT; their influence, their charisma, their wisdom,
their character, their enthusiasm, their joy, their ESSENCE....
continues to fill the “life pages” of all they’ve touched.
Their frail and finite physical chapter is ended, but the richness
of their story flourishes, and enhances God’s Novel!
Like timeless passages, indelibly marked in our hearts and
memories, to be re-read and forever treasured….
their lives never truly “end”!
When through God’s Mercy, the earthly narrative of someone
we love, ends….their life does not!
And for that, we are truly blessed!
* Dedicated with gratitude and love to the enduring Spirit of all who transcend fear and inspire faith by truly living God’s gift of life to the fullest!! T.L.