My Love For You by Timothy Gerald Franklin Lawrence

My love for You
is bigger
than a shoe
 The End

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Look after yourself...without health
you are of no use to anyone.

If I owned this company,
would I hire someone like me?


THREE Angels!

THREE Angels!
Angela, Ash & Janelle

Ab's ( REALLY GOOD) Joke of the WEEK!

A great example of Flawless Male logic —
This is a conversation between a husband and his wife. Please note that she asks five or six questions which he answered quite simply; but, then she is speechless after answering only one question.

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes.

Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about three.

Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!).

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose.

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, that would be approximately $5400, correct?
Man: Sounds Correct.

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, over the past 20 years puts your spending at about $108,000, correct?
Man: Again, sounds about right.

Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane?
Man: Could be true. Do you drink beer?

Woman: No.
Man: Where is your airplane?

for Kenneth Mayo

Hope AND SWIM !

When I fall into an ocean, I know with certainty


That I am wet and startled will at once be plain to me


But will I sink or will I swim...to the depths or to the shore?


Perhaps a log will come drifting by, or a boat out on a tour?


I could hope as I was sinking, but I’d still drop to the floor


And hoping would I be, for logs and tour boats evermore


So I think I’ll set my sights on land and give my legs a kick


And stroke though I am weary, my decision will I stick


While Hope sustains the helpless whose outlook is often dim


Hope also fuels the Faithful, giving Strength to those who swim


So even if I falter against this fearsome tide of health


The shores of my fulfillment rise beneath me in my stealth


I’m hopeful for the strength and the courage not to give in


I thank the Lord for Faith and my resolve to hope AND swim!


My prayers and God’s Blessings be with you my friend!

Timothy Lawrence

Abraham Stainer Esq.

Abraham Stainer Esq.
a.k.a. "Ab"

Tinker-Timmy & Friends

Tinker-Timmy & Friends
Jan'l. Angeela, Ash and Ab

Monday, December 1, 2008

Gift Gathering 101 #16

Morning Friend,
If you happen to be one of "those", whose Yuletide gifts were bought and wrapped last summer, then this Monday's offering will be of no interest to you. ( You can go back to pre-planning your funeral, making lunches for the WEEK, brushing and flossing BEFORE breakfast, color coordinating your sock drawer, or whatever else engages your Psychotically Proactive mind?).
The rest of us ill-bred, unprepared, "unwashed minions" have to start strategizing, for December is upon us and the RUSH is officially....ON.
The "season of giving" wouldn't have to be such a "rush" if the "giving" didn't specifically involve so much "buying".
If the gift of YOURSELF could only be as cherished as a purchased and wrapped present then we'd all be done and cooled.
A shave, shower and a "Jimmy Stewart" haircut and I'd be good-to-go on Christmas morn'.
"Need help carrying in your presents Uncle Tim?", asks an expectant niece upon my glowing arrival on "the Morn".
"Nope. Not this year. I'm giving you all the gift of MYSELF! Who wants a hug?"
* insert stunned silence
** insert whispered "oh oh....he's drinking again!"
A fine theoretical notion indeed if one aspires to the "black sheep" rung of familial hierarchy. ( not to mention the certainty of inter-relational peril i.e. permanent bachelorhood)
I daresay that unless you are Lazarus back from the grave or can pull Bratz and Wii's and Chia-pets out of your hat ala Blackstone Jr., you're going to have to show up with something OTHER than your own smiling visage.
Handicrafts are a terrific alternative to BUYING, and make dandy, personalized gifts, but at this late stage in the game are not a viable option even for the craftiest of artisans - which I, am pitifully, not.
I am "craft challenged" or "handi-crapped" you might say? I DID take on a project one autumn, leaving me three month window in anticipation of snags along the way and it STILL sits, years later...unfinished and unappreciated....a Nativity Scene made from empty toothpaste tubes, bicycle spokes and Smarties. ( I realize they never end up looking EXACTLY like the picture in the magazine but mine looks more like an Armageddon Scene than a manger outside of Bethlehem? )
So with home-made gifts and hair-brained notions OUT, that means it's time to get IN, the stores. With Sunday shopping now, that means a full 24 days are left for the "rush"....PLENTY of time.
I won't get into a diatribe against giving money or gift certificates as the "easy way out", except to quote from my wise and all-knowing Mom who says, "...a gift, ANY gift...shows that you at least took the time, for whatever time it takes, and THOUGHT about that person...".
There are some logistical circumstances where actual PRESENTS are not an option, so a check or gift card is fine, but a GIFT, thoughtfully purchased (though haphazardly wrapped as in my case), is like a message of true consideration and love, that evokes sentiments of gratitude and wonder!......"Oh what a nice scarf, Thank You!" ( purple and green???....is he DRINKING again?)
So bear up my friend, make your list and set aside some "shopping time" in the next few weeks.
Yes the stores are a little more crowded and the lines can get long, but the stuffy air has a delightful undertone of evergreen and perfume testers.
Yes there's a certain headache inducing din of rolling carts, tantrumming children and calls for "price check on aisle 37", but the usually inane overhead Muzak is replaced by beloved and comforting strains of classic Carols.
Yes your feet will ache, a snack in the "Food-ateria" will sit like a brick in your stomach and the strategic placement of the washrooms will test your bladder's endurance mightily, but each stroke of a name off your list lifts you higher and higher off this earthly mall-strewn plain towards that place of honor, achievement and glory, (where only the truly disturbed have been since July) , where you will be DONE!
The "rush" will be over and you can perhaps have some time to ponder about the REAL reason for it all?
Speaking of which....if you have any empty toothpaste tubes that you haven't thrown out yet?.....
Love tImMy :/
“Laugh as much as you breathe
and love as long as you live." (in the Express lane)
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Life Stories

Life Stories by Tim Lawrence

The end of life…is not!

It is the end of a Chapter in a Grand, Spiritual, Novel !

These chapters called “life”, are enriching, engrossing
narratives of one’s earthly adventures.

In them, are an abundance of supporting characters and
supplementary plot elements, often curiously overlapping
and mysteriously intertwining.

Their length and depth varies from person to person;
from protagonist to protagonist.

Some people who have “died” in chapters ended many years
ago, are still quite “alive” today!

Their SPIRIT; their influence, their charisma, their wisdom,
their character, their enthusiasm, their joy, their ESSENCE....
continues to fill the “life pages” of all they’ve touched.

Their frail and finite physical chapter is ended, but the richness
of their story flourishes, and enhances God’s Novel!

Like timeless passages, indelibly marked in our hearts and
memories, to be re-read and forever treasured….
their lives never truly “end”!

When through God’s Mercy, the earthly narrative of someone
we love, ends….their life does not!

And for that, we are truly blessed!

* Dedicated with gratitude and love to the enduring Spirit of all who transcend fear and inspire faith by truly living God’s gift of life to the fullest!! T.L.