Skin Deep - 28

Morning Friend,

Imagine if you will, being a single, half decently looking and "fitter-than-average" young man of about 30.

It's Friday evening; that magical "hormone-iously" charged time on the cusp of another weekend of frantic fun and frolic.

The phone rings.

It turns out a "girlfriend of another girlfriend" told HER girffriend about your "charming manner" and "witty repartee".

You are "on the radar" as it were; a Wanted Poster on the post office wall of a young lady's heart.

You're invited to join some lovely gals at an all night "swimsuit optional" hot tub party.

It's a cold winter night and the party is across town but the hostess herself has offered to come and PICK YOU ( and whatever booze supply you'll need) UP!

You have long ago lost your "shyness" in the company of the fairer sex, and in fact THRIVE in such situations.

You come by your "charming manner" honestly because it is not an "act"....you ARE, as a result of a good education and a VERY good Christian upbringing; a decent, funny, intelligent, sensitive and in fact a SUPERBLY engaging young fellow! ( let's not forget the aforementioned "half decent" looks....you're NOT Brad Pitt...but you're a long way from Karl Malden! ).

Even in the most compromised of situations such as a noisy bar or a fleeting "elevator moment", you communicate well with the ladies.

The opportunity for a several languishing hours of pseudo-decadence in "mixed company" in the intimate confines of a hot tub now presents itself to you like a paving stone waiting to be snatched from the hand of a sleeping Kung Fu Master.

Being the hopeless romantic that you are, you have visions beyond some "carnal adventure" and muse wistfully about 20 years from now, telling the story about "how I met THE ONE, at of all places...in a darn hot tub!".

Being the "patient gentleman" that you are, you're not even thinking specifically in terms of "getting lucky" this VERY evening but rather sowing the seeds of friendship which in your experience are far more valuable than a "one night stand" and its' inherent ramifications.

Being the chronically gregarious man that you are, ( you'd die of LONELINESS, L O N G before starvation on a deserted island! ) the word PARTY itself fills your ears like a school bell ringing at the end of the last class of the year....like the Governor's voice on the phone granting a pardon to a condemned man......like a whirring can opener to a hungry cat....like the offer of the job of Brewery Beer Taster to an alcoholic....like your Doctor's voice telling you "you're cured, in fact I think you're going to live FOREVER!!!".

Now my friend ( of vivid imagination that you are), imagine you are the same "VIBRANT young man", but about three quarters of your skin surface is covered with bleeding, scaly-red and silvery blotches of what is known as "the heartbreak", of psoriasis.

You are in pain almost all of the time because every single movement, including breathing and restless sleeping, opens up a just-healed lesion.

The only people who've seen you naked in the last ten years are your dermatologist, and YOU, when you're in the mood for some "horror".

You wear long sleeves on scorching hot summer days... AT THE BEACH!

You are, by the very basic of societal definitions, and most certainly in your mind's eye...a hideous freak.

You are in need of good lie now because anyone with even the remotest social inclinations wouldn't turn down a chauffeured naked hot tub party unless they were too shy, too gay, too deformed, or "too busy on the threshold of discovering a cure for cancer'.

You are certainly not shy and you're not "gay" in ANY sense of the word but your deformity, while not contagious, would be about as welcome in a hot tub as a floating Oh Henry bar, so you go with being "waist-deep in research" and politely bow out of the event.

Then, you get good and drunk because it dulls the pain... the "physical" part anyway.

You have undergone every "treatment" known to modern science and are told there is no "cure".

You have a few brief but GLORIOUS relapses, especially in summer months when it goes away completely for a few weeks but for the most part of your 20's and 30's you live "in a lonely (s)hell".

Then in the summer of 2005, as your "pigmentation" has taken a back seat to a whole HOST of personal and even life-threatening alcohol-related problems, you decide to "turn your will and your life over to the care of God..." and you quit drinking for good.

In time, everything in your life starts sorting itself out, but what happens IMMEDIATELY is something about as remarkably close to a real live MIRACLE that you ever dared pray for.....

...your psoriasis, takes a hike....."ciao"....."seeya"...."wouldn't wanna beeya"....done....gone.

And as your skin is DRENCHED in the clear light of day you find your outstretched arms aren't long enough nor strong enough to fully give the Good Lord's world a big enough hug!

And the "half-decently-looking" face in the mirror every morning has a sunny smile that says, "Thank You!"

People ask you, "How do you manage to stay sober?"

You smile and say, "Hot tubs...and a little imagination".

love tImMy:/

Laugh as much as you breathe

Love as long as you live ( half-naked)