The Family #50

Morning Friend,

Unlike the proverbial parents who were in the Iron and Steel Business, ("...my Mom ironed and my Dad stole..."), my Mom and Dad are big in the field of SHARING.

It is not surprising really, given the harsh lessons in survival, compassion, and good will learned at the feet of parents who'd endured the Great Depression. ( during which some people did iron and steal ).

In the still lean post-Depression years of their childhood, sharing was more than just an attribute of a well-rounded individual, it was a way of life.

Prosperity wasn't measured in stock portfolios but by how much if any, meat was on the bones in the soup pot.

Good fortune was a job - any job - and good health.

Supplemental income could be found through bartering, bootlegging and some seasonal hay-baling.

One could always afford to be charitable, if only from the heart.

Like a solid oak tree, the family was nourished and strengthened by its' roots; a cousin who had this, an uncle who knew how to do that, or a sister-in-law who was willing to part with something else.....

And as it flourished, each branch growing outward into the world is forever linked to those roots and held firm to the mighty trunk with the bark of family fellowship and shared love. ( and the "sweet"? memory of that big old grey tub of shared Saturday night bath water.)

Times change.

But Mom and Dad's memory of when turkey-neck soup and patched jeans weren't a delicacy and a fashion statement is still fresh.

Ideals change.

But one principle still and always works in their world..."When one has, everyone has....when everyone has nothing, at least we have each other!"

Morals change.

But the Golden Rule, one of my earliest life lessons, remains a cornerstone family tradition.

Family dynamics change.

But there's ALWAYS room for one more at the table.

I offer this bit of information this morning to the latest persons to have experienced the Lawrence Family Hospitality; David and Sheila Parker from Southampton U.K. who are just rounding out a ( much too brief) 2 week visit.

They met Mom ( finest problem solver the world ever saw), and Dad ( who never met a "stranger" in his life), last winter in Barbados and after discovering some remarkable parallels and shared experiences in their lives, they became "lifelong friends" instantly.

Their visit had been eagerly anticipated like "long lost relatives" and despite the weather, Mom and Dad managed a pretty full and interesting itinerary mix of culture, recreation and "down home" family get-togethers.

I'm not privy to all the shared experiences that those people find to talk about for hours on end.

They're nearly the same age, so despite being an ocean apart I'm sure they've faced similar challenges and some of the same generic family crises.

In the conversations I've had with the fun-loving "curmudgeon wanna-be" David, and the elegantly charming Sheila, I've reaffirmed my good fortune in being a member of my family.

The near incredulous delight in their eyes is like the light of God's love and the bright hopeful hearts of my family which led me from the darkness.

The warmth of their gratitude poignantly reminds me of the oasis of my family's love that sheltered me when my spirit was far, far from home.

How perfect strangers meeting in a strange place less than a year ago are today's Aunty Sheila and Uncle David lighting up the children's faces, sharing drinks and colorful jokes with the boys and gossip and recipes with the gals is a testament to the universal wonder and magic of sharing.

Like a shared loaf of day-old bread in lean times past, everyone gets a nice slice of peace, prosperity and joy at our family's table nowadays.

It's the way it's always been my friend. ( but with fresh bathwater)

It's a Family business.

G'day and God Bless.

Love tImMy:/

Laugh as much as you breathe...

Love as long as you live ( spot on )

Limiting Out on Love #49

Morning Friend,

A single bloke needs all the help he can get on the wacky 21st century dating scene.

It's a jungle out there....a roiling sea....a frenzied maelstrom of uncertainty and peril.

Which is why, in an effort to calm the waters, I've "taken the gloves off" as it were and gone to the locked cupboard where the heavy guns are kept.

No I'm not talking mail-order brides here but something almost as sure of a thing.

Not a level playing field but one not imperceptibly tipped in MY favor.

I'm talking about renowned angler and ladies man Babe Winkelman's little known ( and surprisingly unpublished) guide to success for single gents: "FISHING FOR A DATE?....from Skunked to Scoring in 10 easy steps!"

As I began reading the dusty manuscript I was immediately stricken by one of those forehead slapping, "D-oh!...Why didn't I think of this before!?" moments.

He's taken several widely known elements of successful angling and applied them to the singles scene which for many single men is a veritable pond of loneliness.

I'll of course share some of Babe's brilliance with you today with a reminder that like the sport of fishing itself, you don't actually have to know how to fish in order to appreciate it.

I should also echo the sentiments of the guide's disclaimer which reminds the reader that "because LUCK is as much a factor in fishing as it is all areas of life, some days are just going to be "bad" ones, despite the very BEST of your efforts and intentions - remember, the thrill is in the chase....and at least you're not at WORK."

-BAIT Unless a gal is indiscriminately ravenous, like say a carp or a shark, she won't bite on anything unsavory. As you are the bait, you must appeal to all of her senses positively in order to trigger a feeding response. Freshness is appealing to all species. Loud or ridiculously matched clothing can and will frighten away many quality hits. Chumming the water with humorous or clever conversation is never a bad idea.

-PRESENTATION is the trickiest part of angling and goes to its' core....presenting the bait in the most flatteringly irresistible manner possible. Your mind should be a hooked array of sharpened wits and senses; a dazzling but not overwhelming...enticing but not overpowering LURE. Cast aside your inhibitions and troll the deepest depths undaunted by the odd, but easily overcome snag.

-LOCATION Fast-moving streams of females are often seen flowing in and out of nightspots around any urban region. But again the question begs what sort of catch are you after? Plenty of piranhas and scavengers to choose from here but you might be wise to try slower waters if it's "keepers" you want. There are as many locations to choose from as their are angling challenges, but none of them are attainable if you're at home on the couch in front of the T.V. or computer cutting bait.

-PATIENCE AND PERSISTENCE Forcing any issue at all with that particular hawg you've got on your finder is about as wise as yanking hard on a sunfish bite....nothing but grief all 'round. A fisherman trying too hard is about as subtle as blood in the water and likely to cause a leaving frenzy. The fishing story worth a shared lifetime will often have dozens of preambles positing and praising your patient persistence and aplomb. She will have been "...landed before she knew she was hungry!...".

-TACKLE an angler with his equipment in poor repair will be fishing the River of Tears and buying fillets on the way home. If you care for your gear like it was made to last a lifetime it will do so very effectively. Fresh lines and good leaders make for excellent action in even the most treacherous of structure, and unstructure.

-DEMEANOR & CHARACTER are as much keys to success in a fishing boat as they are on the Love Boat. The combination of steady hands, a keen eye and a stout heart distinguishes the pure angler from the bait cutting lunker. The strength of character gleaned from a healthy kinship with Nature and respect for all God's creation are a Master Angler's hallmarks.

-ETIQUETTE It is a popular myth really that fishing trips are nothing more than bawdy drunken getaways. Those are drinking trips with some fishing. A babbling drunk will catch just as many fish as he will dates -none of either- while the Fisher Man, at one with nature is feeling the undulations of his quarry with his soul and listening, to her approaching heartbeat as he visualizes her mouth....her lips.......

I'm sure if you've seen Babe Winkleman on television as I have my friend, you're probably having as hard a time as I did matching that jowly old mug of his to these powerful and insightful words, let alone his recently revealed reputation as a "chick magnet"?

Are there such things as "fishing show groupies"?

Nevertheless I can certainly see eye to walleye with him on several of his points.

It's cast things in a different light and given me some reel insight.

And if worse comes to worse I can always go fishing.

Or change my name to Babe?

love tImMy:/

Laugh as much as you breathe...

Love as long as you live ( barb-less )

The Rest Stop #48

Morning Friend,

According to the unwritten "code" on the Palliative Care Ward at St. Boniface General Hospital, "no-one dies alone".

Despite that fact that no person, not even a doctor can predict exactly how long a dying person has, there are definite physiological signs near the very end which are synonymous with someone's last hours.

It is at that point in time that family members who may not already be at the bedside are notified.

It is at that point that reluctant goodbyes are softly encouraged to those present who may still be in a state of denial or are perhaps yet praying for a miracle.

Such a sight of soft comforting caresses and whispered loving murmurings at the end of one's journey is at times as powerfully beautiful as a Mother's loving embrace at its' beginning.

There are occasions when family must travel from out of town or have just left the hospital for a break when this crisis stage arrives.

Or in some cases sadly where the patient has no family.

This is where the "code" comes into play and staff members take turns at the bedside until family members, or the end, arrives.

Unlike the nurses who have other patients' ongoing issues to mind, the bulk of this bedside duty was often gladly undertaken by yours truly.

I have as yet in my life experienced nothing as profoundly humbling or soulfully illuminating as this communion with the dying.

To whisper softly, "It's O.K. now....you're alright....it's O.K. to go now..." as you caress the worries out of a furrowed brow and grasp their cooling hand in a loving farewell as the Good Lord blessedly takes it into His own.

And you have MEANT those last words because it IS "O.K."....for that person's winding road of life has led them to this safe and spiritual place of earthly disembarkation where the fellow seeing them off is pretty much "A.O.K." !

What little you know of that person and their life, and whatever is going on in your life, become instantly insignificant to the poignant sharing of two heartbeats; one slow and hearty, the other weakly fluttering....until there is just one.

You don't have to experience that too many times before you develop a pretty fair appreciation for the beauty, fragility and calculably finite nature of life.

My own journey has been beset with a plethora of terrains and at times, pitfalls, but the years where my "road" was a hospital hallway accompanying those in their final mile was paved with supreme and sacred honor.

Now my friend, you're wondering "why?... on such a gorgeous summer morning Ab, are you writing about something so "bleak"???

Well it's because death is a part of life... it just happens to come at the end.

So until you get there, which you will too soon enough, I just felt like offering a friendly reminder - especially on such a fortuitously fantastic day.....to GET LIVING!

And also to say that any "problem" that life throws at you, short of a terminal illness, is just that: a problem short of a terminal illness.

And as a special Monday BONUS, I'd like to share a tribute I wrote to the "special" ( a word which doesn't nearly do them justice), people who work with the terminally ill.

At St. Boniface the ward is now located on the 8th floor but this was written at the time they transferred from the 3rd.....thus the reference to "Highway #3".

God bless them... bless you....share the blessings!

love tImMy:/

Laugh as much as you breathe...

Love as long as you live (compassionately)

The Rest Stop ( on Highway #3 ) by tImMy

Here did lone stars tarry between heaven and earth
Singe-winged angels found rest, redemption and safe passage
Here is where weary travelers paused between life and rebirth


Here did fretful souls strengthen thou bodies failed
No tear-soaked pillow could extinguish the fire of a lifetime
Here; the port from where valiant ships of destiny sailed


Here were last steps taken; uncertain and exquisite as the first
the intervening miles of triumph and tragedy were sustaining memories
Here the best was provided for those at their worst


The walls still echo with the passion of those who cared here
Their comforting faith rendered desperation into something somehow manageable
Here the floors are stained by those who managed all but their own tears


Here were forged fierce bonds of camaraderie, devotion and love
Many found purpose and exaltation within a phenomenal team
Days ended with the gratitude of strangers and the favor of God above


Here is where life's trivialities were treated inconsequentially
Everyone seemed to know a happier farmer on a rainy day
Here is where every easy breath was cherished exponentially


Here is where suffering became rapture and wretchedness glee
Heroes reigned on either side of a bedrail;
scientists and truckers, poets and housewives
Here is where the dying ceased, at the Rest Stop, on Highway # 3

Abraham's ( Summer) Glossary - #47

Morning Friend,

Because the beauty, the bounty and for some, the beastliness of Summer is so often indescribable, I have called upon my uniquely bent perspective and constructed a crude glossary to accomplish that very thing.

With August's arrival comes the MEAT of the summer season in this part of the world, so with none too great a measure of humility I present to you this morning, a "side of potatoes and gravy" as it were...

ABRAHAM'S ( SUMMER ) GLOSSARY

( with apologies to linguists... and the overly sensible/sensitive/sequestered)

* in no particular order

BLEEN - poor vision associated with cheap sunglasses.

NOSKEET - the speedy and seamless entry into a tent or cabin accompanied by the least number of insects possible.

PEERCHER - an obviously badly sunburned individual who continues to frolic in the sun seemingly unaware - or drunkenly indifferent- to their burgeoning blisters and imminent agony.

SKIRTION - a collision resulting from a driver's distraction by scantily clad pedestrians.

REPHALATION - the return of the male anatomy to its' normal state following cold water "shrinkage".

SHMEBS - the endless festoon of spiderwebs and caterpillar strings which strike one's face while walking in the woods.

SHWACKS - the endless branch-slaps in the face associated with walking too closely behind someone through moderate to heavy brush.

FUNGY - the way a log gets after a year or more on forest floor.

ORSINATION - the ability of dogs, cats, large rodents and even tree branches rubbing together in a dark forest at night to sound exactly like hungry bears.

SEROON - a pristine state of mind generated by the glassy surface of a lake on a windless day.

BOTTOMOBIA - fear of impending doom while in a leaky boat during bad weather.

FLEISHING - the acceptable practice of sharing untruths regarding fishing achievements.

EXFINATION - the increase in size ( usually 10% per "tell") of a fish in a fish story.

GOOSH - to start a campfire using gasoline, kerosene, or other highly flammable accelerants.

FROZID - the unfortunate and infinitely uncomfortable combination of being cold and in wet clothing simultaneously.

MOGG - irritating person ( often drunk) who incessantly and hazardly stirs and piles wood onto an already blazing campfire.

MOGG-DUNKER - one who hurls a Mogg into the nearest lake after having their hair and clothes set afire by an errant ember shower.

FARTILLA - the smell inside an enclosed tent or camper occupied by one or more imbibers of beans, legumes and/or several beer.

EXCELLENATURAMUNDO - the sound of car doors closing at the last pit stop before heading out of town for the weekend.

TOP DRAWER - expressing first class excellence such as campgrounds with hot showers and flush toilets.

CARDIOPAUSE - the momentary cessation of vital signs upon jumping into cold lake water.

DINKLING - the slow and often painstaking process of reaching thigh-depth into a cold lake.

COALITE - one extolling the oft unrecognized dietary virtues of carbon while eating a burnt-black wiener or marshmallow.

KAKITY - the smell and sound of the city after a weekend spent in the outdoors.

GOSHING - the suppression of common curses and epithets following a mishap, such as losing one's camera, watch or wallet out of a boat in deep water.

PALATADROME - the phenomenon of food tasting better cooked outdoors.

BLUELIP - the hypothermic appearance of manic but otherwise healthy children frolicking in cold lake water.

TICKORTIONISM - the self-examination of one's nether regions for wood ticks.

BUNYONIA - the exhilaration associated with splitting a log with a single blow.

BUNYACKING - the none-too precise process of removing an axe deeply imbedded in a large "green" log.

SHEWING - eating fish ( often poorly filleted), that has bones in it.

HERKEMER JERKWATER (1892-1912)- the one and only documented case of a man choking to death on a fish bone. Jerkwater, a drifter from Chicago where he was known as the "town drunk" reportedly had visited a less than reputable south side sushi bar where several witnesses described him drunkenly "inhaling" raw fish before an errant bone finally did him in.

RESERTAFICATION - the renewed appreciation for one's own bed after a weekend in a tent.

LURUSION - the misguided belief that the appetites of most fish species are enhanced by heavy rainfall.

APPETITIOUS - the smell of bacon cooking on a open fire.

FOCALBURNERS - ill fitting or ill advised styles of swimwear.

SOPHIAN - the extraordinarily wonderful way your wife or girlfriend feels ( and smells) in your arms after a weekend fishing with "the boys".

INCONTINENTAL - one running away from a bear.

URINTITIS - the non-emergent need to pee while in a sleeping bag which can wait till morning.

EUFORESTIA - the supreme sense of awe, wonder and gratefulness to God one experiences in Nature.

Enjoy the rest of the summer my friend!

love tImMy:/

Laugh as much as you breathe...

Love as long as you live ( interpreting)