My Love For You by Timothy Gerald Franklin Lawrence

My love for You
is bigger
than a shoe
 The End

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Look after yourself...without health
you are of no use to anyone.

If I owned this company,
would I hire someone like me?


THREE Angels!

THREE Angels!
Angela, Ash & Janelle

Ab's ( REALLY GOOD) Joke of the WEEK!

A great example of Flawless Male logic —
This is a conversation between a husband and his wife. Please note that she asks five or six questions which he answered quite simply; but, then she is speechless after answering only one question.

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes.

Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about three.

Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!).

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose.

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, that would be approximately $5400, correct?
Man: Sounds Correct.

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, over the past 20 years puts your spending at about $108,000, correct?
Man: Again, sounds about right.

Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane?
Man: Could be true. Do you drink beer?

Woman: No.
Man: Where is your airplane?

for Kenneth Mayo

Hope AND SWIM !

When I fall into an ocean, I know with certainty


That I am wet and startled will at once be plain to me


But will I sink or will I swim...to the depths or to the shore?


Perhaps a log will come drifting by, or a boat out on a tour?


I could hope as I was sinking, but I’d still drop to the floor


And hoping would I be, for logs and tour boats evermore


So I think I’ll set my sights on land and give my legs a kick


And stroke though I am weary, my decision will I stick


While Hope sustains the helpless whose outlook is often dim


Hope also fuels the Faithful, giving Strength to those who swim


So even if I falter against this fearsome tide of health


The shores of my fulfillment rise beneath me in my stealth


I’m hopeful for the strength and the courage not to give in


I thank the Lord for Faith and my resolve to hope AND swim!


My prayers and God’s Blessings be with you my friend!

Timothy Lawrence

Abraham Stainer Esq.

Abraham Stainer Esq.
a.k.a. "Ab"

Tinker-Timmy & Friends

Tinker-Timmy & Friends
Jan'l. Angeela, Ash and Ab

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Abraham's ( Summer) Glossary - #47




Morning Friend,
Because the beauty, the bounty and for some, the beastliness of Summer is so often indescribable, I have called upon my uniquely bent perspective and constructed a crude glossary to accomplish that very thing.
With August's arrival comes the MEAT of the summer season in this part of the world, so with none too great a measure of humility I present to you this morning, a "side of potatoes and gravy" as it were...
ABRAHAM'S ( SUMMER ) GLOSSARY
( with apologies to linguists... and the overly sensible/sensitive/sequestered)
* in no particular order
BLEEN - poor vision associated with cheap sunglasses.
NOSKEET - the speedy and seamless entry into a tent or cabin accompanied by the least number of insects possible.
PEERCHER - an obviously badly sunburned individual who continues to frolic in the sun seemingly unaware - or drunkenly indifferent- to their burgeoning blisters and imminent agony.
SKIRTION - a collision resulting from a driver's distraction by scantily clad pedestrians.
REPHALATION - the return of the male anatomy to its' normal state following cold water "shrinkage".
SHMEBS - the endless festoon of spiderwebs and caterpillar strings which strike one's face while walking in the woods.
SHWACKS - the endless branch-slaps in the face associated with walking too closely behind someone through moderate to heavy brush.
FUNGY - the way a log gets after a year or more on forest floor.
ORSINATION - the ability of dogs, cats, large rodents and even tree branches rubbing together in a dark forest at night to sound exactly like hungry bears.
SEROON - a pristine state of mind generated by the glassy surface of a lake on a windless day.
BOTTOMOBIA - fear of impending doom while in a leaky boat during bad weather.
FLEISHING - the acceptable practice of sharing untruths regarding fishing achievements.
EXFINATION - the increase in size ( usually 10% per "tell") of a fish in a fish story.
GOOSH - to start a campfire using gasoline, kerosene, or other highly flammable accelerants.
FROZID - the unfortunate and infinitely uncomfortable combination of being cold and in wet clothing simultaneously.
MOGG - irritating person ( often drunk) who incessantly and hazardly stirs and piles wood onto an already blazing campfire.
MOGG-DUNKER - one who hurls a Mogg into the nearest lake after having their hair and clothes set afire by an errant ember shower.
FARTILLA - the smell inside an enclosed tent or camper occupied by one or more imbibers of beans, legumes and/or several beer.
EXCELLENATURAMUNDO - the sound of car doors closing at the last pit stop before heading out of town for the weekend.
TOP DRAWER - expressing first class excellence such as campgrounds with hot showers and flush toilets.
CARDIOPAUSE - the momentary cessation of vital signs upon jumping into cold lake water.
DINKLING - the slow and often painstaking process of reaching thigh-depth into a cold lake.
COALITE - one extolling the oft unrecognized dietary virtues of carbon while eating a burnt-black wiener or marshmallow.
KAKITY - the smell and sound of the city after a weekend spent in the outdoors.
GOSHING - the suppression of common curses and epithets following a mishap, such as losing one's camera, watch or wallet out of a boat in deep water.
PALATADROME - the phenomenon of food tasting better cooked outdoors.
BLUELIP - the hypothermic appearance of manic but otherwise healthy children frolicking in cold lake water.
TICKORTIONISM - the self-examination of one's nether regions for wood ticks.
BUNYONIA - the exhilaration associated with splitting a log with a single blow.
BUNYACKING - the none-too precise process of removing an axe deeply imbedded in a large "green" log.
SHEWING - eating fish ( often poorly filleted), that has bones in it.
HERKEMER JERKWATER (1892-1912)- the one and only documented case of a man choking to death on a fish bone. Jerkwater, a drifter from Chicago where he was known as the "town drunk" reportedly had visited a less than reputable south side sushi bar where several witnesses described him drunkenly "inhaling" raw fish before an errant bone finally did him in.
RESERTAFICATION - the renewed appreciation for one's own bed after a weekend in a tent.
LURUSION - the misguided belief that the appetites of most fish species are enhanced by heavy rainfall.
APPETITIOUS - the smell of bacon cooking on a open fire.
FOCALBURNERS - ill fitting or ill advised styles of swimwear.
SOPHIAN - the extraordinarily wonderful way your wife or girlfriend feels ( and smells) in your arms after a weekend fishing with "the boys".
INCONTINENTAL - one running away from a bear.
URINTITIS - the non-emergent need to pee while in a sleeping bag which can wait till morning.
EUFORESTIA - the supreme sense of awe, wonder and gratefulness to God one experiences in Nature.
Enjoy the rest of the summer my friend!
love tImMy:/
Laugh as much as you breathe...
Love as long as you live ( interpreting)
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Life Stories

Life Stories by Tim Lawrence

The end of life…is not!

It is the end of a Chapter in a Grand, Spiritual, Novel !

These chapters called “life”, are enriching, engrossing
narratives of one’s earthly adventures.

In them, are an abundance of supporting characters and
supplementary plot elements, often curiously overlapping
and mysteriously intertwining.

Their length and depth varies from person to person;
from protagonist to protagonist.

Some people who have “died” in chapters ended many years
ago, are still quite “alive” today!

Their SPIRIT; their influence, their charisma, their wisdom,
their character, their enthusiasm, their joy, their ESSENCE....
continues to fill the “life pages” of all they’ve touched.

Their frail and finite physical chapter is ended, but the richness
of their story flourishes, and enhances God’s Novel!

Like timeless passages, indelibly marked in our hearts and
memories, to be re-read and forever treasured….
their lives never truly “end”!

When through God’s Mercy, the earthly narrative of someone
we love, ends….their life does not!

And for that, we are truly blessed!

* Dedicated with gratitude and love to the enduring Spirit of all who transcend fear and inspire faith by truly living God’s gift of life to the fullest!! T.L.