My Love For You by Timothy Gerald Franklin Lawrence

My love for You
is bigger
than a shoe
The End

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Look after yourself...without health
you are of no use to anyone.

If I owned this company,
would I hire someone like me?


THREE Angels!

THREE Angels!
Angela, Ash & Janelle

Ab's ( REALLY GOOD) Joke of the WEEK!

A great example of Flawless Male logic
This is a conversation between a husband and his wife. Please note that she asks five or six questions which he answered quite simply; but, then she is speechless after answering only one question.

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes.

Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about three.

Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!).

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose.

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, that would be approximately $5400, correct?
Man: Sounds Correct.

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, over the past 20 years puts your spending at about $108,000, correct?
Man: Again, sounds about right.

Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane?
Man: Could be true. Do you drink beer?

Woman: No.
Man: Where is your airplane?

for Kenneth Mayo

Hope AND SWIM !

When I fall into an ocean, I know with certainty


That I am wet and startled will at once be plain to me


But will I sink or will I swim...to the depths or to the shore?


Perhaps a log will come drifting by, or a boat out on a tour?


I could hope as I was sinking, but I’d still drop to the floor


And hoping would I be, for logs and tour boats evermore


So I think I’ll set my sights on land and give my legs a kick


And stroke though I am weary, my decision will I stick


While Hope sustains the helpless whose outlook is often dim


Hope also fuels the Faithful, giving Strength to those who swim


So even if I falter against this fearsome tide of health


The shores of my fulfillment rise beneath me in my stealth


I’m hopeful for the strength and the courage not to give in


I thank the Lord for Faith and my resolve to hope AND swim!


My prayers and God’s Blessings be with you my friend!

Timothy Lawrence

Abraham Stainer Esq.

Abraham Stainer Esq.
a.k.a. "Ab"

Tinker-Timmy & Friends

Tinker-Timmy & Friends
Jan'l. Angeela, Ash and Ab

Monday, January 25, 2010

A Load of Bun(K) #69



Morning Friend,

With a blizzard tempestuously raging outside this morning and bracingly frigid temperatures in the forecast, I should have known it was too good to be true.

When one derives as much pure joy from cold, snow and ice as I do, they are often setting themselves up for a balmily bitter disappointment.

Mine came in the dratted and determined hands of my mailperson; so unstoppable is she in the face of any climatologically natured obstacle that someone should write a “creed” about her and those of her ilk? ....something about “...sleet and snow and hail...?” would do nicely I think.

Nevertheless, the source of my anguish –the letter- looked weather-beaten, well-traveled, and harmless.

The West Indies postmark verified over 3,000 miles of road-weariness, but the unmistakable logo on the envelope told a tale fraught with harm, and hardship.

It was from the Barbados University Natural Center where I have held an Associate Assistant Advocate Pseudo-Professorship for an number of years.

It seems some of my learned colleagues are also members of the Barbados Olympic Freestyle Ski Dancing Team ( a grueling sport not usually associated with Caribbean climes ), and are competing in the upcoming games.

I have been culled from my arctic reverie and “called to duty” at the Center.

OH the HUMANITY! I say, just as Winter here had started to have a nice sweet “bite” to it; the itch of the woolies beaconing like a molting mantra!

But my head is still cold from being outside for 10 seconds to get the mail so it’s “cool” enough to prevail in this instance.....the important research and invaluable humanitarian work being done at B.U.N.C. must not go unattended.

The study of Nature takes scientists into laboratories as unbelievably harsh as they are mysterious.

The sun-baked beaches, dizzying blue sea, blinding sunshine, incessant scented breezes and tropical torpor, make Barbados a “lab” suited to only the truly fanatical realm of the scientific community devoted to unlocking the secrets Mother Nature closely holds to her oft-mysterious and alluring bosom.

I am as you may already know, one such devotee.

And as such I must leave these blessed blizzard blown boundaries of my comfortable northern home and forsake them for the stench of sweat and sun block... and the malingering malaise of equatorial madness.

The ache of homesickness already tightens like a frozen knot in my sit-up-hardening stomach with the knowledge I now have but 42 sleeps....I mean DAYS of wondrous Winnipeg winter to endure....I mean LUXURIATE in!

The history of all great scientific discovery is filled with stories of selfless sacrifice and suffering....just THINK for instance of all the moldy bread that Fleming fellow must have eaten!?

While it’s not an antibiotic I’ll be seeking during my three week odyssey, I will in fact be looking for a similarly beneficial result...”ONENESS” with Nature.

And a pretty nice tan :)

love tImMy :/

Laugh as much as you breathe...
Love as long as you live (going for Gold)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Miller Time #68


Morning Friend,

One of the fine old workplace traditions the world over is the “couple of drinks after work”.

After a rough day, a tough week – and especially a “payday”, the call to “go for a brew”, ( or “Miller Time” as the famous old American beer slogan used to trumpet), can be heard like a battle cry from the factory floor all the way to the executive offices of companies large and small.

The after work drinks can be an essential part of the culture of a workplace; an excellent morale building and bond forming exercise.

In the comfy environs of a neighborhood pub or a favorite lounge, with hair down and gloves off, the stress and strain of the “grind” drains further away with each successive glass or bottle.

It’s a chance for all to blow off steam, bitch and whine, tell nasty jokes, commiserate, flirt, laugh, and ultimately....jointly solve a pressing global issue or two; usually toward the end, of the evening.

For some it’s an excuse to get drunk and avoid going home after work, but those poor souls are likely in the bar avoiding home every evening so the novelty of the exercise is lost to them as is the opportunity for spontaneous co-worker interaction.

They’re there for the drinking, irregardless of the company, and often the last to leave...unless they get cut off first.

Thankfully in today’s society, the great majority of people are “social” drinkers - according to the Canadian Encyclopedia, approximately 4% of adult drinkers in Canada are alcoholic.

Even with my vivid imagination, I have trouble perceiving what sort of anarchic maelstrom would replace civil society were those figures reversed?

“Joining us for a drink after work Bob?”

“No thanks Tim, I’ve been hammered all day! I could go for a coffee though?”

“Keep that kind of talk to yourself Bob. Coffee? It’s only Wednesday!?....you don’t have some kind of a “problem” do you?”

The carnage – were it to be “Miller Time” all the time - would be substantial.

As it is, the ruination and heartbreak wrought by even such a small percentage of problem drinkers in today’s society is far-reaching enough to have affected the life of just about everybody.

Left my own mark on a fair bit of damage to be sure.

But despite the fact that I now don’t drink, and I managed to salvage my job because of it, I still get that familiar “itch” towards the end of the work week.

Not to drink mind you, but to drink in the fomenting fellowship and charismatic camaraderie of my brothers and sisters with whom I spend a third of my week with; toiling on a daily basis.

We work alongside thousands of others in a large hospital so there is ample stress and an ongoing battle against it.

In my own particular department however, I’d noticed that for various reasons we never “went for a few after work”.

There is a broad demographic of about 50 of us who work “evenings” so the logistics themselves are not what you’d call conducive to such activity.

But just because something is difficult doesn’t make it less necessary, and YES I do think there is value in cultivating friendships with co-workers outside of the workplace, especially in circumstances like mine where the mix of cultures, values and ages is so varied.

So since my charismatic leadership abilities are bruised but yet functional, and since I’m still a “social butterfly” ( albeit a sober one), and since I’d get nothing but funny looks by asking 50 people “out for coffee”, and since statistically only 4% of my department ( me and another guy?) should be alcoholic, I took it upon myself to organize a “Few After Work” for the gang last Friday.

The crudely but enthusiastically drawn poster proclaimed “Friday Fellowship!....Come for a Couple!....11:45 til ‘an hour’....Say Farewell to a Good Man!” ( it wasn’t a “payday” Friday but it was the last day for a fine young fellow who was leaving us )

Now in my mind it was a rousing success not because it was a good turnout with laughs aplenty and enough madcap and warm heart to fill 10 beer commercials, but because of who showed up...

- the “old” veteran of the bunch

- the “oddball” guy

- the “quiet” loner

- the “rookie”

- the “hothead”

- people who I’d never seen so relaxed and animated

...and of course the “alcoholic” in the background sipping on a cola; drinking in all the good natured griping, the irreverent humor, the problem solving, the fellowship....and the fun.

But the best part of it all had to be when someone asked me why I’d go to all the trouble to organize such an event when I don’t even drink?

And instead of a mini-diatribe about; discovering the essence and joy of life without booze, giving back to others in payment for years of selfishness, celebrating the freedom of being able to say “no” to a drink, doing the Lord’s work by fostering peace and brotherhood, or bettering our work environment by promoting extra-curricular interaction, I simply said,

...“Cause it’s Miller Time!”


love tImMy:/


Laugh as much as you breathe...

Love as long as you live ( happy hours)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Thank You #66b


Morning Friend,

With all the imagination I know you possess, please pretend these words are the hearty and warm embrace of a free and grateful man celebrating a *birthday today.

*it’s my “belly-button” , or “real” BIRTH-day as opposed to my

A.A. Birthday in June, in case you were wondering? As far as my “age” goes, the only information I’ll divulge on that front is that I’m more months sober than I am years old.

The reason for the “e-hug” is because if I have ever met you, spoken to you, or in some way ( cosmically or otherwise) interacted with you, than you have unwittingly become a driving force in my on-going quest to put my best foot forward and keep it there.

I am nothing else, if not a HUGELY gregarious alcoholic gentleman.

*from Merriam Webster

gre-gar-i-ous ( adjective) 1 a : tending to associate with others of one's kind : social b : marked by or indicating a liking for companionship

The “hugely gregarious DRUNKEN alcoholic gentleman act” was panned brutally.....by YOU: my acquaintances, friends and family.

An empty theater on The Grand Stage of Life echoes like an empty heart when you’re a “people person” drinking alone.

“WHY did I do it”??? the oft asked question.....

“Because as someone who is “wired” to interact with other humans; intelligently, humorously, soulfully, spiritually, playfully, creatively, intuitively, purposefully, repeatedly, compassionately, artfully, sensually, powerfully, respectfully, enthusiastically, honorably and with GREAT regularity, it HAD to be done. ....the answer.

The “act” as many will attest is as flawed as it ever was but certainly “cleaned up” at any rate, and every now and then I’ll pull off a show-stopper or garden variety crowd pleaser that’s just about worth the price of admission.

“Thank Yous” abound for this Birthday, this day, this life!

The Good Lord, my Mom and Dad, my whole family, Alcoholics Anonymous, my friends, St. Boniface Hospital......and on and on the list goes of people – and a Savior – who give me the INCENTIVE that fuels my every show!..... I mean day :)

Thank you and may God Bless you and your day friend.

Glad I could get my mitts on ya!

love tImMy:/

Laugh as much as you breathe....

Love as long as you live (motivated)

Life Stories

Life Stories by Tim Lawrence

The end of life…is not!

It is the end of a Chapter in a Grand, Spiritual, Novel !

These chapters called “life”, are enriching, engrossing
narratives of one’s earthly adventures.

In them, are an abundance of supporting characters and
supplementary plot elements, often curiously overlapping
and mysteriously intertwining.

Their length and depth varies from person to person;
from protagonist to protagonist.

Some people who have “died” in chapters ended many years
ago, are still quite “alive” today!

Their SPIRIT; their influence, their charisma, their wisdom,
their character, their enthusiasm, their joy, their ESSENCE....
continues to fill the “life pages” of all they’ve touched.

Their frail and finite physical chapter is ended, but the richness
of their story flourishes, and enhances God’s Novel!

Like timeless passages, indelibly marked in our hearts and
memories, to be re-read and forever treasured….
their lives never truly “end”!

When through God’s Mercy, the earthly narrative of someone
we love, ends….their life does not!

And for that, we are truly blessed!

* Dedicated with gratitude and love to the enduring Spirit of all who transcend fear and inspire faith by truly living God’s gift of life to the fullest!! T.L.